Computer Geek Quiz


1. I have moss growing:
        A) In my garden
        B) In my bathroom
        C) In my kitchen
        D) On my teeth

2. When I open my mouth at parties, people:
        A) Listen
        B) Ease away slowly
        C) Stuff a live weasel down my throat

3. I think computers are:
        A) Uninteresting
        B) Interesting
        C) Too damn small for the stuff I want to do

4. I think sheep are:
        A) Uninteresting
        B) Interesting
        C) Annoyingly far away from where I live


5. The Usenet Oracle is:
        A) A pack of weenies who think about "Lisa" way too much
        B) Interesting
        C) Not appreciative of the great answers I write; the Priesthood is out to get me

6. The gender I desire to have sexual relations with is:
        A) Difficult to understand
        B) Impossible to understand
        C) Clearly from a different planet
        D) How should I know? I've only seen pictures

7. Bill Gates is:
        A) Bill who?
        B) Very wealthy
        C) Head of Microsoft, which produces some widely used products
        D) The Antichrist

8. In general, people:
        A) Like me
        B) Don't like me
        C) People? What people?

9. My friends are:
        A) Diverse
        B) People I know from work or school
        C) Wearing the same clothing I am

10. My dream vacation is:
        A) Tibet
        B) Europe
        C) California
        D) In a room with lots of fluorescent lights and an unlimited supply of coffee

11. My job prospects are:
        A) Abysmal
        B) Adequate
        C) I'll never be out of work, you hear me? Never!
        D) They pay people to do this?

Score 0 for each A, 1 for each B, 2 for each C, and 3 for each D.

19 or more : Yep. You're a computer geek, all right.
13 - 18 : You're a geek of some stripe or another.
7 - 12 : Probably not a geek, but watch it...
0 - 6 : If you're of the opposite sex, could you leave a note for me in the personals column? Please? Hello?

Added August 9, 2004

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