Virus List

 

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus : Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

AT&T virus : Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

 

Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.

Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer, locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Dan Quayle virus : Prevents your system from spawning any child processes without joining into a binary network and addse ane ee toe everye worde youe typee.

David Duke virus: Makes your screen go completely white.

Disney virus: Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

Dr. Kevorkian virus: Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.

Ellen Degeneres virus: Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus : Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup virus : Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).

George Bush virus: Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.

Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Jerry Brown virus: Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.

Joey Buttafuoco virus: Only attacks minor files.

Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

Madonna virus : If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!

Mario Cuomo virus : It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

MCI virus : Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car

Monica Lewinsky virus........Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

New World Order virus : probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it

Nike virus: Just Does It

Ollie North virus: Turns your printer into a document shredder

Oprah Winfrey virus : Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB

Pat Buchanan virus: Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.

Paul Revere virus : This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack - once if by LAN, twice if by C:.

Paul Tsongas virus: Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."

PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Politically correct virus : Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism".

Prozac virus: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

Richard Nixon virus: Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus", you can wipe it out but it always makes a comeback.

Right To Life virus : Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Ross Perot virus : Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits

Spice Girl virus: Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.

Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.

Ted Turner virus : Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

Terry Randle virus: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

Titanic virus: Makes your whole computer go down.

UK Parliament virus: splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming the other side for the state of the system.

Viagra virus: Expands your hard drive while putting too much pressure on your zip drive.

Warren Commission virus: Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.

Woody Allen virus: By-passes the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.

Added August 8, 2004

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