1. Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we
cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
---Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
2. "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving
kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny
like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
3. "Researchers have discovered that chocolate
produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers
also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what
---Matt Lauer on NBC's Today Show, August 22
4. "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail
to comply with the law."
---David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, (answering accusations that he failed to
pay his taxes)
5. "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a
very important part of your life."
---Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal
6. "I've never had major knee surgery on any other
part of my body."
---Winston Bennett, Univ. of KY basketball forward
7. "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country."
---Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
8. "We're going to turn this team around 360
---Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
9. "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing
through our papers. We are the president."
---Hillary Clinton (commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents)
10. "China is a big country, inhabited by many
---Former French President Charles De Gaule
11. "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to
death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
---A Congressional Candidate in Texas
12. "It isn't pollution that's harming the
environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
---Former U.S. Vice-president Dan Quayle
13. "Without censorship, things can get terribly
confused in the public mind."
---General William Westmoreland
14. "I love California. I practically grew up in
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
15. "They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the
clips on, but they take them off."
-- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air
Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.
16. "When I have been asked during these last weeks who
caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple:
Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for
the killings? The killers are to blame."
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the complex social issues behind
the Los Angeles Riots
17. "I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great
country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land,
and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
-- John Wayne
18. "Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-- Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
19. "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to
have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle at a fundraising event for the United
Negro College Fund. (He was attempting to quote the line: "a mind is a
terrible thing to waste".)
Added January 22, 2000
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