Men Jokes

 

(I got these from a man)

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Female Revenge

Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A: Both of them.

Q: Why did the man cross the road?
A: He heard the chicken was a slut.

Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: They don't have time.

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: They don't stop and ask for directions.

Q: What do men and sperm have in common?
A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.

Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A: The bonds mature!

Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So men can remember them.

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don't know; it has never happened.

Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A: A widow.

Q: When do you care for a man's company?
A: When he owns it.

Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Q: How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
A: His hand caught fire.

Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes.

Q: What did God say after creating man?
A: "I must be able to do better than that."

Q: What did God say after creating Eve?
A: "Practice makes perfect."

Q: What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A: They're married.

 

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Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"

God says: "So you would love her."

"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"

God says: "So she would love you."

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* 1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb .... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-

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* 2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
-Erica Jong-

Added January 9, 2001

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