Beggars | Tourists | Other
Two beggars are sitting on a park bench in Mexico City. One
is holding a cross and one a Star of David. Both are holding hats to collect
contributions. People walk by, lift their noses at the man with the Star of
David and drop money in the hat held by the man with the cross. Soon the hat of
the man with the cross is filled and the hat of the man with the star of David
A priest watches and then approaches the men. He turns to
the man with the Star of David and says: "Young man. Don't you realize
that this is a Catholic country? You'll never get any contributions in this
country holding a Star of David." The man with the Star of David turns to
the man with the cross and says: "Moishe, can you imagine, this guy is
trying to tell us how to run our business?"
Two tourists were driving through
Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about
the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped
As they stood at the counter, one
tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please
settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and
said, "Burrrrrrrr, Gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing"
Received from GCFL: http://www.gcfl.net.
They say by the year 2020, video
cameras will be the size of postage stamps and cost 50 dollars. Of
course, by then postage stamps will cost 60 dollars....
(from Linda: I honestly don't know when this was written - but I thought it was
-- Wayne Cotter, "Comic Strip
Live," Fox TV
Calories are little units that
measure how good a particular food tastes. Fudge, for example, has a
great many calories, whereas celery, which is not really a food at all but a
member of the plywood family, provided by Mother Nature so that we would have a
way to get onion dip into our mouths at parties, has none.
-- David Barry, Stay Fit & Healthy Until
You're Dead, Readers Digest, April 1993
As theater majors at Rowan College
in Glassboro, N.J., my roommates and I compete for the wittiest comments.
Returning from a mime class, I found this phone note waiting for me:
"Marcel Marceu called. No message."
-- J. K. Kucher Reader's Digest
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not
-- St. Augustine (354-430)
Newest Addition - January 10, 2000
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