You know you are from New Mexico when

 

(These were received from a New Mexican)

A package of white flour tortillas is the exact same thing as a loaf of bread. You don't need to write it on your shopping list; it's a given.

All your out-of-state friends and relatives visit in October.

At any gathering, regardless of size, green chile stew, tortillas, and huge mounds of shredded cheese are mandatory.

If you travel anywhere, no matter if just to run to the gas station, you must bring along a bottle of water and some moisturizer.

Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los".

Prosperity can be readily determined by the number of horses you own.

The tires on your roof have more tread than the ones on your car.

There is a piece of a UFO displayed in your home.

Tumbleweeds and various cacti in your yard are not weeds. They are your lawn.

Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature the other in the state pen.

You are still using the paper license tag that came with your car five years ago.

You believe that using a turn signal is a sign of weakness.

You buy salsa by the half-gallon.

You can actually hear the Taos hum.

You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos, and Pojoaque.

You can order your Big Mac with green chile.

 

You don't see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales (this has now been outlawed).

You expect to pay more if your house is made of mud.

You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.

You have an extra freezer just for green Chile.

You have been on TV more than three times telling about your alien abduction.

You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you extra for "international" shipping.

You have driven to an Indian Casino at 3 AM because you were hungry.

You think the Lobos fight song is "Louie, Louie."

You have read a book while driving from Albuquerque to Santa Fe.

You iron your jeans to "dress up".

You just got your fifth DWI and got elected to the state legislature in the same week.

You know the punch line to at least one Espanola joke.

You know they don't skate at the Ice House and the Newsstand doesn't sell newspapers.

You know Vegas is a town in the northeastern part of the state.

You know whether you want "red or green."

You know you will run into at least 3 cousins whenever you shop at Walmart, Sams or Home Depot.

You pass on the right because that's the fast-lane.

You price shop for tortillas.

You ran for state legislature so you can speed legally.

You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence alternates between Spanish and English.

You think a red light is merely a suggestion.

You think Las Vegas is a town in the northeastern part of the state.

You think Sadies (a restaurant) was better when it was in the bowling alley.

You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn.

Your car is missing a fender or bumper.

Your Christmas decorations include "a yard of sand and 200 paper bags".

Your other vehicle is also a pick-up truck.

Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.

You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer pot-holes.

 

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Mexico

Added January 9, 2003

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