Some Cute Garden of Eden Stories about Adam and Eve and Pets

 

Garden of Eden | Practice Makes Perfect? | Where do Pets Come From?

Some Cute Garden of Eden Stories

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Garden of Eden

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a 'man,' Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits.

"He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly aroused, but since you're complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your ah, physical needs. He'll be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.

"What's the catch, Lord?"

"Yeah, well ... you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring, so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first ... So, just remember ... it's our little secret...woman-to-woman!"

 

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Practice makes perfect?

Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

And ... the #1 reason why God created Eve...

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

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WHERE DO PETS COME FROM?

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to. "Where do pets come from?"

Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now do not see you anymore.  I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."

And God said, "No problem!  I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you wilI know that I love you even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam.   And it was a good animal.  And God was pleased.  And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam, and he wagged his tail.  And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the  Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem!  Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted.  And God was pleased.  And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride.  He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well."

And the Lord said, "No problem!  I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is.  The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam.  And Cat would not obey Adam.  And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being.  And Adam learned humility.

And God was pleased.  And Adam was greatly improved.  And Dog was happy.

And the cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.

Warmest regards,   Constance Demby
http://www.earthportals.com/
Sound Currents
2461 Santa Monica Blvd, Suite 434
Santa Monica, CA 90404
310-712-5469 vm

 

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