SMILE !

At least one of these will bring you a smile!
Image: A T-shirt that says: I don't mind going to work but that 8 hour wait to go home is a bitch

Image: A T-shirt that says: I didn't say it was YOUR FAULT! I said I was going to BLAME YOU!

Image: A T-shirt that says: If you don't talk to your cat about catnip... who will?

Image: A T-shirt with an image of a gecko that says: When your gecko is broken you have a reptile dysfunction

 

Image: A T-shirt that says: I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don't want to see you every day

Image: A T-shirt that says: Sometimes I pee when I laugh

Image: A T-shirt that says: What if the 'Hokey Pokey' really is what it's all about?

Image: A T-shirt that says: I love poetry, long walks on the beach and poking dead things with a stick

 


Image: A T-shirt that says: I'm ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar

Image: A T-shirt that says: Silence is Golden, Duct tape is silver

I have kleptomania,
but when it gets bad,
I take something for it.

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.

Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and
It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss and
It's all organized by the Italians.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years.

In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday.

A bartender is just a pharmacist
with a limited inventory

The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

I may be schizophrenic,
but at least I have each other.

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.

KENTUCKY:
Five million people,
Fifteen last names.

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

Dyslexics Have more Nuf.

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

When you work here,
you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred".

Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

I am having an out-of-money experience.

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the 280 Interstate. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman.
"It's hundreds of them!"

Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

Added December 15, 2009

-=+=- -=+=- -=+=- -=+=- -=+=- -=+=- -=+=- -=+=- -=+=-

Back to Top

Back to Funny and Amusing Pages

Fair Use Notice

FAIR USE NOTICE: This page may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. This website distributes this material without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. We believe this constitutes a fair use of any such copyrighted material as provided for in 17 U.S.C § 107.

NOTE TO AUTHORS: If you are the author of this article and do not wish to have this posted on the angelstarcreations.com website, please write to me at my email address or mailing address on my contact page, and I will remove the article. Please mention the URL of the page which you want to bring to my attention. This is a personal Web site for educational purposes only. ~ Angel Star

Image: Angelstarcreations logo